Thoughts of a Frustrated Poet.
[Jan. 8th, 200608:41 pm]
It's been quite a while since i last my last literary piece. AHEMM! yeah, i used to write essays for our school paper, The Golden Scroll. I used to be a prose writer and not a poet. i hated poems. Hate is such a harsh word. Dislike would be more appropriate. But of course, things change and so people do. Here i am, about to post some of my thoughts in verse since i don't have anything yet on my blog and because my hubby told me so. (Oh, he's so supportive of me! LOL!) Though I still love reading and writing (this time in Filipino), which used to be my pastime during my "pre-hubby days," I occasionally drop a line or two or if luckier, a stanza, when I'm inspired or just had my moments. and so, here they are...the fruits of my sleepless nights, rainy afternoons, tearful recollections and or simple moments of reflection.
Lifeless
what would you do
when the whole world's closing in on you?
when the only risk you've decided to take
plunges you to even deeper and darker chasms?
what would you do
when you lose hope on love and its existence?
what would you do
when the only person that makes you smile
has decided to take a wrong turn leaving you hanging...
in pain...suffering...half-dead?
would you cry?
would you run away?
or hide perhaps...
or even die like your heart?
you can choose to end it all...
but would you do it?
to bury your heart in clouds of pain and despair...
the feeling kills you like shards of crystals
piercing your soul...
shattering you to pieces...
unrecognizable...unknown...unloved.
what would you do?
would you try to win him back?
or would you just watch him leave...
and just let his words of lovereverberate in your ears...
the only thing that can attest to a magical past?
what if he doesn't truly want you?
nor feels genuine love for you?
then the pain doubles...
multiplies a hundred fold...
and then you feel lifeless.
Realization
I’m dumbfounded...blown away...
there are countless ways to say goodbye...
yet why does it have to be this way?
more painful...
a pain that seems to strike my inner being....
tearing away my soul...
devouring my sensibility...
slowly killing me...
putting me into deep slumber...
a peace that is haunted by chaos...
a peace...
eluded by love...betrayed by a friend...
and so he left...
once an acquaintance...
then a friend...
a buddy...
my beloved, he has left me.
goodbye.
Untitled
I’ve learned my lesson…
I’ve accepted my fate…
Like a battle’s loser receding at the background.
Like a king descending his throne…
Like a shooting star crossing the dark evening sky.
So fast it came,
And in an eye’s blink, it vanished
Without a trace…
not even a single glint of light.
I’ve waited long for this
So long that it has engulfed me
In the lonely and dark caves of solitude.
And then I felt something…
A sparkle.
A warm streak of sunlight
Touching my face…
Caressing my cheek.
So I succumbed to the light
Believing my time has come.
My long sought happiness commencing.
Suddenly, I felt a tear falling…
Running it’s course down my face.
Slowly, I opened my eyes…
I found the same old cold darkness engulfing me
Was it just a dream… an illusion
Created by desperation…
By a long period of hopelessness,
I thought someone was calling my name…
Sweet…romantic…melodious.
But when I looked back,
There was nobody there…only darkness.
The cold, dark embrace of solitude.
And so I looked up again,
At the star-strewn sky
Waiting for another dream to come.
a place
i wish for a place where pain is a stranger
and suffering is an outcast...
a place where people shed tears of joy
instead of desperation, helplessness and agony.
where dreams are real and smiles are free.
i dream of a place where flowers eternally bloom
and birds continuously sing their songs.
a place that embraces people together,
forever banishing the distinction of race, color and creed.
where hope is ceaseless and love infinite.
i fancy a place where rainbows are plenty
and storm clouds infrequent...
a place where at the touch of bright sunlight,
all the traces of the past night disappear, never to return.
where the skies are blue and sunshine warm.
i long for a place where i can hide when i'm hardest hit...
a place where i can shout my angst
and let it all out and not be ashamed of it.
where i can be me, for freedom is universal.
if only i could get to that place...
with my humanity and soul intact.
a place unmapped...
for it knows no direction, rules nor boundaries.
a place unknown to everyone...
even myself.
a place where i wish to find utopia...
a place that is my heart.
Wandering
I am walking in the fields…
The wind spreading my wings…
The sun looking down me…
Touching the moist grass…
the cold earth beneath my feet…
refreshed.
I am flying…
Lifting me higher…
gliding in the sky…
kissing the clouds…
calm.
I am floating…
Feeling the immense pressure of water
pushing me upwards…
Slowly carrying me…
The gentle liquid hugging me…
peaceful.
Refreshed…calm…peaceful..
Yet monotonous…
The silence deafening me…
Until all of a sudden everything became different.
Everything seems to move fast…
Spinning…
my heart beating faster…faster…
Lightning strikes…the current
Moves in a hurry…the earth shaking…
Everything turned red…burning…
scorching my being…my soul.
The color of blood…of apples…of love.
But there’s something good in this chaos…
For it broke my silence…
it breathed me life.
And then everything stood still…
again…so sudden…
So short lived was the chaos…the thrill…
Everything came back…
Back to my old humdrum self…
And then I felt something…
A tear falling down my cheek…
A silent witness to a love that came and went.
No comments:
Post a Comment